Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Another appalling video game movie. Xena meets Alladin by way of Tomb Raider, only Gemma Arterton's voice-over accomplishes the feat of being even more annoying than Lara Croft's accent.
Which, perfectly sensical. Over the top British accents, never ever out of place if you're talking ancient/foreign. (The prince in the game had a British accent. So. Yeah, extremely authentic.)
I do accept the wisdom and inevitability of Hollywood's marker for all things foreign, the neutral space for your imagination to supply authenticity. But: "We must take the dagger to the secret guardian temple!" Seriously? That is just toe-curlingly cringe-worthy.
And this appalling Disney misadventure is taken seriously enough that there are yelps of "white-washing!", followed by casting suggestions of ethnic-looking people and/or recommendations of contacts and tanning.
Also: Aryan Iranians (excuse me, Persians) harping on about their Caucasianness, and Iranians rolling their eyes at said Aryans, and the dawning awareness that Hollywood mentality makes blue-eyed Persian princes the flip-side of 300.
Prince of Persia was the first game I ever played. Now I will never be able to play it without feeling nauseous.
3 comments:
This is easily up there in the Top 10 Worst Trailers of All Time.
I love Prince of Persia & Gyllenhaal. How can something so right turn out to be so wrong? *facepalm*
Guh! Come on, it can't be that bad! Jake is hot at least, right? Although, granted, I do have a tendency to ignore terrible plot/characterization/writing/pretty much anything when there's a good-looking guy onscreen. I enjoyed all of Wolverine, after all, just on the strength of Hugh Jackman's hotness.
Anyway, sands of time is too awesome to be ruined by some movie. Have heart. (you can always imagine it to be some terrible fan film that you have to watch for 'research' purposes, much like trawling through assassin's creed fanfic archives I would imagine)
Hehee. I guess you have a point, watching this would be remarkably similar to reading bad fic :P
Parts of it make me think Donnie Darko in a lame Halloween costume. And that's just wrong.
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